The First Three Months of Pregnancy - Keeping the Secret!
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If you're within the first month of your pregnancy, or you think that you might be, you may want to see my hub on Very Early Pregnancy Symptoms.
The first three months of pregnancy are a cruel joke for anyone wanting to keep it secret.
Many women like to refrain from going public about their pregnancy until the three-month mark, when the risk of miscarriage is said to significantly reduce and they've had that reassuring first scan, which (hopefully) not only shows them that the baby's ok, but which gives irrefutable evidence that there is, indeed a baby in there, and they're not just imagining it/going crazy/getting fat!
You might choose not to tell family and friends until this point because you don't want them to get too excited until you get this first all-clear.
And you may decide not to tell your work colleagues if you have worries about how you'll be treated once people know that you're pregnant, or even about the safety of your job.
Or perhaps you just don't want people to know yet, because it's a lovely experience for you and your partner to share alone, even just for a little while.
Three whole months of having your own lovely secret, without those well-meaning relatives telling you what you should and shouldn't be eating, drinking, doing or thinking... Bliss!
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Symptoms in the first three months
But then Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom; (and demonstrating a cracking sense of humour); ensures that if you're going to have pregnancy symptoms, then the ones which are most obvious and difficult to hide (except perhaps for the baby bump itself), will occur during those first three, special months. Ha ha!
Morning sickness is a most unpleasant side-effect of being pregnant. Throwing up is a terrible feeling, and if you're unlucky then you might have to do this every day of your first trimester. And of course it's not just confined to the morning (or in some cases, to just the first trimester..)
If you're working, then continuously rushing to the loo and hurling is difficult to explain away. Excuses like food poisoning or stomach bugs can only be given for so long - although a suspected, mystery food intolerance can perhaps buy you a little more time!
Preventative measures are definitely one thing to try. Try keeping some dry crackers by your desk and surreptitiously munch them to stave off nausea. Some people find that ginger biscuits are also useful for settling the stomach.
If you're not working then you can try to avoid seeing people during the time when you're normally sick, although this can sometimes be difficult to predict.
Tiredness is a common symptom of early pregnancy. Sometimes, and often at the most inopportune time (such as during a meeting or at a family gathering), you might get the overwhelming urge to sleep. Pregnancy tiredness can be shattering, and almost impossible to resist.
However, as long as falling asleep isn't a constant thing, you can always claim that it's a result of a late night out. Or if you really want to throw people off the scent, a hangover!
If you're at work and you want turn your tiredness into a plus-point, you could say that you were up most of the night working! (Although you might need to be able to provide some evidence for this, so be careful with this one..)
Tiredness is easier to explain away than morning sickness. Depending on how imaginative you are you can blame it on such things as a gruelling new exercise regime, a change of diet, a bug, a vitamin deficiency, an addiction to late-night TV, noisy neighbours preventing you from sleeping, or a family member (or even pet) keeping you awake.
Some people also experience strange food cravings during their first few months. These can be quite difficult to resist, but if you don't want them to give you away, try to keep them in check. Indulge in those chocolate spread and pickled onion sandwiches by all means - but tuck in while nobody's looking, and try to do it in the privacy of your own home!
Although most women don't start to develop a baby bump until after the first trimester, some do start to show earlier. And this is especially true if you've already had one child or more. Assuming anybody is rude enough to comment on your expanding waistline, you could try saying that you've been eating too much recently. Or perhaps that it's down to female bloating or water retention. (Hopefully this might even embarrass them into silence! Although if they're insensitive enough to have commented in the first place, then maybe not..)
You could always try dressing strategically to hide your belly. Try googling "dress to hide stomach" for some ideas. Here's a site I found with some helpful ideas.
Most people wouldn't dream of querying any weight gain around somebody else's stomach area. Firstly there's the possibility that they might be wrong about you being pregnant - which would risk downright embarrassment for the both of you. And secondly, as I've said above, this would just be rude!
For the most part, what seems to you like a massive baby mound, will go completely unnoticed by others. So don't draw attention to it, and it's more than likely nobody will notice a thing.
More on the 1st Trimester
- At what stage in the first trimester does the mucous plug grow?
I believe it forms in the first trimester. - 6 weeks ago
- First Trimester
- 25 hours ago
- At what stage in the first trimester does the mucous plug grow?
- 6 weeks ago
- What Is The Unborn? part one
- 16 months ago
- First Trimester
The first trimester begins from two weeks after your last period. The fact that you probably wont realise and may go a few weeks before you do is irrelevant. - 2 years ago
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Yeah keeping your mouth shut is pretty hard especially when hormones are out of control and all you want is some understaning as to why you seemed "whacked" lately.
Headaches and food aversion are also hard to keep seceret. I remember my first food aversion. Broccoli! I love, love, love broccoli yet, the very smell of it make me vomit...
Oh lord and heartburn lol- the tiredness was dead on! Before I told anyone at work I was pregnant...actually before I even knew I was prego, I was falling asleep at my computer still upright and all. lol
thanks for the hub bub! -not that I requested it or anything
LOL, that sucks about the heartburn that never went away. :( But nice... a souvenir! I didn't get morning sickness, so I don't really know what it is about. I probably only barfed a couple of times so headaches and the expanding waistline and heartburn where really it for me.
But I hear ya about wanting to tell everyone about it because your so excited. It unfair! I actually told everyone right away, mostly I was in shock to find out I was gonna have a kid. I was still in some denial until I heard her heart beat for the first time.
Even then I was still a little skeptical but when I saw her on the ultrasound... well then then it all came like a rush of blood to the head and I got mommy syndrome. :)
My mother's advice was only to tell people in the first 12 weeks if I'd tell them about a miscarriage.
I told friends and family within about 4 days of finding out I was pregnant. Although I kept it quiet at work until I was 12 weeks. This was hard especially as one day I nearly fainted! But I'm glad I did as it kept me from moaning about how awful I felt - I would have turned into an annoying pregnant woman.
My partner and I decided when secretly trying to fall pregnant that when we did fall pregnant we'd only tell immediate family until the first trimester scan was all clear. Now 8 weeks pregnant, the most difficult part has been explaining why I'm suddenly not drinking alcohol. Still, I'm determined and have been bracing myself to keep it quiet over Xmas. I found out tonight that my future mother-in-law has told everyone she knows. In her excitment she forgot that it's supposed to be a secret. We are really disappointed because we aren't ready to discuss it with other people yet. Now I'm regretting telling anyone!
I have to go onto light duties straight away at work as I'm a police officer. I've told my boss already, but other people are going to start asking why i'm on light duties and I'm only 5 weeks pregnant. I'm racking my brains trying to think of an excuse for being stuck in the office. Can anyone help please???
oh dear! i told everyone straight away aswell was too excited and scared too lol i called to make an appt with the midwife and she told me over the fone it was probly a false positive she broke my heart. now im worried im not even preggers n everyone thinks i made it up iv done 4 tests and iv got all the symtoms anyone been told the same???
I am 4 weeks 6 days. Experiencing many headaches....is this normal??
Help!!! I'm currently 5-6 weeks pregnant and need some excuses for why I'm no longer drinking alcohol!! I have a quite a few social events over the next few weekends and my family and friends like a few glasses of wine (to say the least!) if I suddenly say I'm not drinking then EVERYONE will know our secret and my partner and I want to keep it quiet until our first scan. Can anyone give me some ideas/excuses??
Also Joanne F, I'm a serving police officer too but I've told my Sgt and he has agreed to keep things quiet for me and keep me on response until my first scan so long as I risk assess everything I do (which believe me is all I do!!) I really didn't want to go on light duties as I know that everyone would guess my secret (and I didn't want to blame it on 'women's problems' as I'm the only female on my rota) what reason did you give in the end?

















Christoph Reilly Level 2 Commenter 3 years ago
Nice, informative hub on a subject I know very little about. In my day, it was "Get thee to a nunnery!" Nice job.